CODY RUINS COLUMBINE DAY
Mike: Wassup, Team DO5! Today, we are at Littleton, Colorado because today marks the 20th anniversary of the tragic shooting at Columbine High School. Heather: We will be taking a tour on the school about it. Cody: It’s stupid! Why would Eric Harris and Dylan Klebold do that? Jake: Something about Nazi’s. Emma: Well the tour starts now! They enter a tour bus Katy: My name is Katy, and I will be your tour guide! Ryan: You look like that cat from Unico! Katy: I am Katy the witch from Unico! They go to the cafeteria Katy: Eric and Dylan originally wanted to blow up the cafeteria, but due to issues with the bomb, they instead chose to shoot up the school. Alex: What went wrong with the bombs? Cody: They malfunctioned, retard! Katy: It’s 2019 who even says retard anymore? They go to the library Katy: This is where most people were killed. Mike: Everyone! Let’s say a prayer! Lord God, I come to you a sinner And I humbly repent for my sins I believe that Jesus is Lord I believe that you raised him from the dead I will ask that Jesus will come to my life And be my Lord and Savior I receive Jesus to take control of my life And that I may live for him from this day forth Thank you, Lord Jesus, for saving me with your precious blood In Jesus' name, Amen Cody: That was stupid! Heather: We admit that Eric and Dylan sinned and need help! ???: Not so fast! ???: Religion is stupid! Cody: Who was that? Eric and Dylan arrive Katy: OH MY GOSH!!! IT’S THE COLUMBINE SHOOTERS!!! Mike: HOW DID YOU COME BACK?!?! Eric: We resurrected, retard! Dylan: And we’re here for revenge! Cody: Nice actors! How much are you guys being paid for this? Heather: THOSE AREN’T ACTORS!!! Eric and Dylan shoot and kill Katy Mike: WHAT THE FUCK?!?! Emma: Crying I’m too young to die... Alex: Crying SOMEBODY HELP!!! Ryan: Crying This isn’t funny... please stop... Jake: Crying I’M STILL A VIRGIN!!! Eric: You shitheads say the most cliched things! Dylan: Now die! Cody: Not so fast! Cody grabs a boom box Heather: WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU GONNA DO WITH THAT?!?! Mike: Whatever it is, it better work! Cody: It will! All black coupe (Holup, yeah) Now I want you (Holup, yeah) Now I want you (Holup, yeah) What you wanna do? (Holup, yeah) Take that boy to school (Holup, yeah) Young nigga, too cool Young nigga, big bool Smokin' that dope, that is strong I get that choppa, that dump All of my diamonds, they lumps All of my diamonds, big lumps I get that cash, got a bunch I'ma die lit, bitch, I promise (Holup) Tear the bitch up, break her heart Young nigga, fresh from the start (Holup) Young nigga, fresh from the start (Holup) Badass bitch from the start (Holup) Young nigga, fresh from the start (Holup) When I come around, they don't talk down Diamonds they shine in the dark now Diamonds they shine in the dark now Diamonds they shine in the dark now They takin' me in, what I done? (What?) They takin' me in, what I done? (What?) Eric: NOT PLAYBOI CARTI!!! Dylan: HE’S THE WORST!!! The school blows up Cody: Yay! We saved the day! Mike: AND YOU DESTROYED HISTORY!!! Cody: So? Heather: Mike, is it weren’t for Cody, we would’ve all been shot by now! Mike: I guess you’re right. But you still owe Littleton a new high school! Cody: Like I’m paying for it! Littleton: Just to let you know, Cody, we took your life insurance to pay for a new high school. Sorry! Cody: FUCK!!! Category:Fanfic Category:DaddyOFive Category:Trip Disasters Category:Shooting